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When you need immediate help resisting the temptation to indulge in a vice or addiction, remember three (3) simple words to follow:
Stop. Breathe. Connect.
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Stop
Immediately say aloud to yourself "Stop!" and take a break from what you're doing at that moment. This helps to break the "trance" we sometimes experience in being tempted to indulge a vice or addiction, and then we are in a better disposition to follow the subsequent steps.
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Breathe
Begin this breathing exercise: Inhale slowly through your nose (or mouth if congested) as deeply as possible, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat for a total of seven (7) deep breaths. As you inhale each time, close your eyes and pray to yourself, "Come Holy Spirit." This calms down your body as you invoke the Holy Spirit for help.
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Connect
If we suppress our thoughts and feelings about what we're experiencing, we often end up "white-knuckling" through the experience and/or turning inward to self-medicate with a vice or addiction that turns the negative experience into a more comfortable and pleasant experience that actually stunts our intellectual and emotional growth. However, when we connect with someone we trust and tell them about our thoughts and feelings and the experience causing them, we process our intellectual and emotional response in a healthier way and enable ourselves to grow intellectually and emotionally through that experience. The following seven-step process helps us to do exactly that.
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- 1. Connect with God
- 2. Reflect with patience
- 3. Be grateful and positive
- 4. Connect with others
- 5. Pray for others
- 6. Forgive others
- 7. Be still in silence
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As Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.” We must turn to Him first to pray for His guidance, courage, and comfort since He is the Source of comfort, the Source of Truth, the Source of Life. We can trust that He will help us in whatever adversity we face, as His Word assures us:
Isaiah 41:10 – “Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”
James 1:2-4 – “Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
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Temptation to indulge in a vice or addiction is the result of experiencing adversity that we don't like and that we try to escape by coping with some substance or behavior. So it is critical to take some time to reflect with patience on the adversity we’re experiencing.
Use the following reflection method to TONE up your brain "muscles":
T - Temptation. What adversity is tempting you to indulge your vice or addiction?
O - Old response. What has been your old response to this temptation?
N - New response. What will be your new response?
E - Execute. Respond to this temptation by executing the new response.
Be encouraged in your reflection with these Scriptures:Lamentations 3:40 – “Let us search and examine our ways, and return to the Lord!”
2 Corinthians 13:5 – “Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in faith. Test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you? –Unless, of course, you fail the test.”
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Complaining leads to negative feelings, thoughts, words, and actions, while gratitude leads to positive feelings, thoughts, words, and actions. Rather than complain about the adversity you’re experiencing, find the “silver lining” in this adversity and be grateful for it.
Then, affirm yourself positively with words of encouragement from the Word of God: Since we read in 1 John 4:8 that “God is love” and in Genesis 1:26 that we are made in the image and likeness of God, it follows that we are love. With that in mind, read slowly 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, but use your name in the place of “Love”:
_____ is patient, _____ is kind. _____ is not jealous, _____ is not pompous, _____ is not inflated, _____ is not rude, _____ does not seek [his] own interests, _____ is not quick-tempered, _____ does not brood over injury, _____ does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. _____ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
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In turning to self rather than to God, we isolate ourselves from others. So we must do the opposite and connect with others. As God says in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suited to him.” Not only did He go on to create Eve as a suitable helper to Adam, but he also created each one of us who are suitable helpers to each other. We are not meant to fight this battle alone. So talk in person or on the phone with someone in ARMOR ( request call from ARMOR ministry leader) and/or with someone else you trust, sharing with them your reflection in #2. Be sure also to listen to them share with you their reflection on the adversity they’re experiencing. God wants us to help each other, as His Word says:
Exodus 18:18-23 – "The task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone...Lighten your burden by letting them bear it with you...If you do this, and God so commands you, you will be able to stand the strain."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 - "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God."
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Spend some time offering prayers for your family, others who struggle with a vice or addiction, the families of others who struggle with a vice or addiction, and all those who are impacted by the vice or addiction with which you are struggling. Pray for everyone you’ve encountered today. Pray for anyone else who comes to mind. In this time, you can make a positive impact on the lives of others through the power of prayer. Be assured of the need and power of prayer for others by Sacred Scripture:
Job 42:10 – “The Lord also restored the prosperity of Job, after he had prayed for his friends; the Lord even gave to Job twice as much as he had before.”
James 5:16 – “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.”
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Forgiveness is a critical part of healing, both for the one being forgiven and for the one offering it. When we forgive others, we let go of the hurt they have caused us and cooperate with God’s grace to show love and mercy. However, forgiving others can be very difficult, especially when hurt we experience is severe. Jesus was no stranger to being hurt severely, and He gave us the perfect example of the forgiveness we are called to give when He said from the cross in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” We find more encouragement to forgive in the Bible:
Sirach 28:2 – “Forgive your neighbor the wrong done to you; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.”
Matthew 6:12 – “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”
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Spend 10 minutes in stillness and in silence listening for God to direct your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions to live virtuously according to His will. This may require you to endure a high level of discomfort, but it will not last. With every minute you endure this discomfort, you grow in the virtue of fortitude. Find encouragement in God’s Word to be still in silence:
Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord will fight for you; you have only to keep still.”
James 1:19 – “Know this, my dear brothers: everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
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Ongoing Help
Strive to grow in virtue in addition to resisting immediate temptation to indulge a vice or addiction. Those who fail to strive for growth in virtue will be ill-prepared to resist temptation in the future, “and the last condition of that person is worse than the first.” (Matthew 12:45; Luke 11:26)
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